Monday, September 1, 2008

BFFFURTAs

I want to start by saying what I intended to say in the last post but think I forgot. I am absolutely amazed at how beautiful Connecticut is. Hartford is an amazing city scape, and all the country roads I have been on have filled me with awe and exhilaration. I just can't believe I am here (though that may change come winter). Campus is gorgeous, they are really interested in making this a great school.

I went and got sushi (sorry Aimee) with a few new found friends at school. The fortune in my cookie read, "Keep on keeping on." It struck me as odd at first as it seems like such an unoriental phrase. Though over the past few days it has come to be quite profound. Grad school is hard. I know that the challenges I am experiencing are exactly what I need. The reason it is so hard is because it is attacking all my weaknesses in the theatrical realm. It is demanding me to put a lot of effort into things I don't well understand. I am simultaneously anxious and scared beyond all reason. I am incredibly blessed with classmates who inspire me to work harder then my own motivation would expect. I am more productive in their presence and already feel a deep kinship here.

I love theatre. One of the most incredible parts is the people. I fit in here much better than I expected. It is an environment where one is expected to strive to be themselves. My beliefs have often been inquired into, but never attacked. I will spend the next few years with some of the greatest people in the world.

My time here has also been incredibly bitter-sweet. I am not around the people I am used. You are not there to buoy me up. I have open myself up to risk to get through my trials. I have been incredibly lonely for home at times. I have, over the last week, often felt a sense of insecurity that I have not experienced in years.

I appreciate knowing that this post will be read. I am grateful to be able to let my struggles out. Thank you.

5 comments:

Aimee Smith said...

You can do it!!!

Jason E said...

Life's a garden...dig it!

Good luck to you in your pursuits.

Jory Dayne said...

Completely unrelated, but I am so ticked you got to that Drop Dead Gorgeous reference on Aimee's post before I did!

ARGGH. You are now my nemesis.

Haynie Family said...

Dude it was awesome to chat with you. Lets do it more. hope you enjoy my blog.

Erik and Alyssa said...

Hey, I'm glad you are liking Connecticut so well! You always do so many exciting things!
oh, and I can't believe you are leaving "arousing" comments on Tiona's blog :)